Bridal Rites

(originally published by Emrys Journal in 1985)

 
Rebecca McClanahan

 
I sniff for hot coals, search the
sweaty firelit circle of women. 
Around me they huddle, dimpled knees
pressed together to balance
Bride Bingo cards.  Stockings rub;
nylon heat rises. B-7, she shouts,
clacking dentures, and a murmur
like dishwater bubbles through the crowd.
Mother's cousin has won again,
two packages of colored clothespins.
 
I come barefoot to this passage,
hunting the one-eyed medicine woman
to lead me through the bloody breaking.
I want to ask how it feels. 
Rough, his tongue, like a cat on your skin?
Smooth?  Do you slide together?
Where do his eyes go?
Do you remember? His scent,
does it stay in your hair? 
 
They smile and bring me what they know: 
yellow peignoir with uplift bra, vegematic,
Tupperware.  They caution me on leftovers,
how vital to keep the celery crisp. 
We move to the table, where cashews
bed down with pastel mints. In the punch bowl,

dollops of sherbet float like breasts set free.
The women cut the cake into uniform slices. 
Giggle. Snap my picture.
I leave heavy with their gifts. 
In the distance, the ancient moon,
the she-wolf howling.

Rebecca McClanahan has published nine books, most recently Deep Light: New and Selected Poems 1987-2007 and The Riddle Song and Other Rememberings, which won the 2005 Glasgow Award for nonfiction. Her work has appeared in The Best American Essays, the Pushcart anthology, and The Best American Poetry series. She lives in New York and teaches in the low-residency MFA program of Queens University in Charlotte and The Kenyon Review Writers Workshop.